Self Embetterment


How Do You Better... You?

SELF: You. Your complete individuality. Your thoughts, actions, beliefs, values, relations, consciousness, interests, welfare, and character.

EMBETTERMENT: Causing something to get better by taking action.

Many of us compare our lives to others. Whether it is fame, money, power, looks, relationships, or spirituality we compare what we have with what others have. I know I find myself, every now and then, comparing my life to others. Why is that? Simply, I want more for my life and I see in others what I want.

I often ask myself, Why can’t I have what that other person has?

I have found that this thinking creates a sense of want and jealousy—and that leads to negativity, hatred, anger.

Negativity – I get down on myself because I don’t have what I want.

Hatred – I hate the other person for being more fortunate than I.

Anger – I get angry because the other person has what I want, and I don’t have it yet.


Several years ago I decided to apply a simple principle to my life; it is called Self-Embetterment. It is the principle of causing or making yourself better by taking actions that better your own life.


Here is the principle: Make yourself better than you. Become a master of what it is you want to get getter at. If you want to become a better writer—study writing. If you want to get better at sales—study sales. If you want to be a better husband—study how to be a better husband. If you want to be more spiritual—study spirituality.

All you have to do is APPLY IT IN YOUR LIFE!

Self-Embetterment is a way of thinking, acting, feeling and just being. By applying self-embetterment you remove the want, jealousy, negativity, hatred and anger out of your life. This does not mean there are things you can’t improve on, in life. It just means stop comparing your life to others.

You can still ask others, what they do to get better and learn from their techniques and what they do in their lives. Just stop comparing you to others.

Someone reminded me of this yesterday. I was interviewing a candidate for a sales job and he said, “I just try to get better than what I was yesterday. I don’t compare my results to others. I look at my results from yesterday and improve on them today. I focus on what I am doing and how I can get better—that is how I become the top sales person.”

That fell right in line with self-embetterment. Work on yourself, and the results will come in whatever area you want to improve your life.


Stop comparing your life to others. Everyone’s life is special in certain ways. (Not better or worse, just different but still special.) Comparing creates an empty void inside of you.


Take the area of your life and want to better, and then learn how you can improve in those areas. There are eight core areas: mind, body, money, work, social life, relationships, belief, and family. Choose what area you want to work on self-embetterment. Then, find ways to learn techniques, skills, behaviors and philosophies to implement in your life in that area. It is all right to model others who are successful. (Just don’t fall into the comparison trap.) You can get a coach to motivate and train you. You can join groups or online forums. You can learn techniques from books or the internet. You can take a class. There is information out there on any topic if you want it and search it out.


PRACTICE! Apply what you learn in your life and practice until you get better. If you want to be better in one area you can’t just hope that what you learn will magically make you better. You need to practice, practice, and practice. Without implementation, this is just an idea.


When I was a swimmer in High School I was in the way-slow lane. I wanted to better my personal times in my events. I practiced every day and learned from the coach. I applied what he taught me. Then, we went to a swim clinic with Olympic Gold Medalist George DiCarlo. He watched me swim and gave me one technique that would improve my stroke. He suggested I reach my had down deeper and grab the fresh water. I had the want to get better. I learned a technique from a professional. I applied it in my practice. I used it in competition. I qualified and swam in the State Championships in three events, and helped set a school record for the 400 Freestyle relay.


You have to want to get better. Self-Embetterment is simply that. It is the internal want to better YOU, the ability to seek out the knowledge to better YOU, and the application of those techniques, skills, behaviors and philosophies to better YOU!